For years the standard thinking has been outer self and inner self. "No one can see what goes on inside of me", is a common phrase, but that's simply not true. Your outer is a reflection of your inner. A seed can't grow from the sky into the ground. It must first be "inner"; before anyone can see its foliage or branches and flowers, it has to grow lots of roots-which no one can see. But the foliage is really a reflection of the roots down deep below. For example, if you only eat greasy, fried food then eventually your skin will become greasy and oily. Your outer skin is a reflection of your inner health.
So how do you see yourself? Do you see yourself as being rich or poor? Happy or sad? Enjoying yourself or being miserable? Do you see yourself as successful? Or do you see yourself as a failure, or just getting by? People will see you how you see yourself. If you feel like you are worthless or not very good then your look, your actions, and your attitude will all reflect that. People will start to see and think of you like that and at that point it's much harder to change your thinking.
Your outer will always reflect your inner. Think about it- a mirror can't reflect what isn't there. People may say "But that person has hurt so many people and done so many wrongs, yet they're rich and I don't have much but I'm kind and helpful." This is true in lots of cases since the beginning of time. But the fact is, in this example, the rich man, even though he may not be a good person, sees himself as very wealthy and eventually his outer reflected his inner. (Please don't misunderstand though- to have wealth does not make you a good or a bad person, it's what you do with it that shows who you really are.) So see yourself as being who YOU really want to be, not what someone else says or thinks of you, not what your circumstances or situation may seem to be, and not what you have.
It sounds easy and maybe even foolish to some but changing your self image can be much more challenging than you think. You are essentially re-programming your "computer" (your brain) to run the program of how you see yourself, and that can take a good amount of effort.
If you want to change how you see yourself start by doing this- write a description or draw a picture of the ideal you-be realistic but don't limit yourself! Then every time you have a thought or an experience that doesn't line up with your picture of yourself, delete the thought and replace the picture in your mind with what your new image of yourself is. The last step is to BE PATIENT! This is not an overnight, instant fix solution. This is however, something that works and works incredibly well. When you do this, you'll begin to see a world of difference in your life and the way you feel about yourself. Eventually your outer will reflect your inner.
If you need a little help to remember this, just remember this wonderful picture from Alan Wuhk:
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